I am personally a massive Star Wars fan, even after George Lucus took my childhood and shot it in the face, by making the disastrous Star Wars prequels. I will prefix this list by saying that none of the items will feature characters from and otherwise mention the Star Wars prequel movies or clone wars.

	R2D2 Headphones One of my personal favourites of the list, are these cool over ear headphones. So cool in fact, I bought a pair for my girlfriend last christmas. Not only do these headphones make you look like a boss, the sound is really good and it even has an microphone and clicker that work with apple devices like the iPhone.
	LEGO Star Wars Millennium I know many people might think that  I am too old to enjoy Lego. However, like many on Christmas day, I find myself with lots of time on my hands and there is nothing better than having a little project to work on Christmas day. It also looks amazing when you finish it.
	Star Wars – Craft For your more girly Star Wars fan ( and I know your out there) comes the Star Wars: Craft Book. This one might be fun if you have younger cousins and want to keep them out of trouble.
	Dath Vadar keyring Cute will stocking filler. The best bit is the little cape is real and moves.
	Lego Star Wars Men Stormtrooper Pow T-Shirt Unlike many of the Star Wars T-shirts you see, it is not just the standard vader on black, this t-shirt has a nice use of colour and Lego version of star wars characters are just better.
	Han Solo in Carbonite Silicone Tray I had this one sent to me by one of my friends. The thing I like about this one is not only can you use it to make your drinks look amazing but you can also put melted chocolate into and make Han Solo in Carbonite out chocolate.
	Star Wars Chop-Sabers Make yourself feel like a Jedi and get your food on at the same time with these cool chop-sabers.
	Star Wars: The Thrawn Trilogy by Timothy Zahn If you are not a massive Star Wars fan, you may never have heard of the Thrawn Trilogy. These books are set 5 years after the events of Return of the Jedi. This epic tale is set on a massive scale with amazing plot twists. A must read, even if you don’t like Star Wars
	Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy I love this game so much I have completed it on different platforms at least 5 times. One of the best games I have ever played and a bucket of fun.
	Star Wars: The Original Trilogy – Blu-ray Even through I am really sick of seeing the Star Wars films edited over and over again, I am still happy about seeing Star Wars in HD for the first time. Also least not all the changes are bad, some of the new graphics improve the stories and the extras should be great.

If you like this list or secretly want someone in your life to bet you one (or all :p) of the items on the list, then remember to share is caring.

You have a girl friend, not a girlfriend and you don’t know what to buy them.

With a girlfriend, you can get away with jewellery, chocolates, or perfume. But when it’s a mate who just happens to have breasts, well that’s a different ball game altogether.

As a girl myself (yes really!) I’ve been both amazed and flabbergasted by the presents I’ve received from male friends over the years.

Some of the shockers included, a light bulb with my face drawn on it (so I could see my face on my walls I presume?), a tree (I didn’t have a garden… or any space in my room to house it) and a glass with which to drink a yard of ale.

The last one was a real kicker, as it transpired he’d actually bought it for himself, and then remembered it was my birthday.

So here’s my top 3 appropriate gifts, made up of some things that true gents have bought me over the years.

A notebook

Not just an A4 scribbler mind, a beautifully bound notebook. (Try WHSmiths) The beauty of this gift is you can feign interest in your female friend’s life. “Oh I know how much you like writing/keeping a diary/organising things”. It’s useful, and it implies thought.

Scarf + Hat

One trip to Accessorize and you’re sorted. Always useful in the winter months, you can pick pretty much any colour, and they’re one size fits all. If your friend is particularly quirky or chic, you could get some earmuffs or something a bit different.

Bubbles

Not the alcoholic kind – though I’m sure they’d probably go down well too – but a nice set from Lush. You can walk straight into the shop; pick from any of their pre-packaged combinations (they all have funny names so you can pick an appropriate one) and it shows you care about her well-being.

A book

Now, this could be dodgy territory depending on the girl (if she’s illiterate… or blind) and the book (probably best to avoid things like Cows, The Wasp Factory, or American Psycho). But go with the Main Booker prize winner, or a top listed from Amazon and you’re probably going to be ok. This has the added bonus of making you look intelligent – even if she never actually reads it.

I think I explained what the experience was like Last time I went. But here were my highlights for this one. Pictures will follow as they’re uploaded.

1. I got to play Saints Row 3 for a bit. It felt very much like the last one but even sillier, they gave us each a pair of sunglasses and a bobblehead for our interest and my girlfriend got a picture high-fiving Professor Genki, the new series mascot.

If you need any convincing on Saints Row the Third, I submit to you, the greatest trailer of all time!

2. Tim Winchester was there again, and he even remembered me from last time! I wish I had bought more stuff from him.

3. Jess Bradley caught my eye with her adorable caricatures of famous characters like Link, Solid Snake and Rorschach. I bought several and she gave me a sticker for free.

4. My girlfriend (Amanda Lancaster) found herself gravitated towards a stall filled with Yaoi, for those of you that don’t know, that’s the Japanese term for boy on boy action or man-love… I can say it’s definitely worth a laugh!

5. They had the Delorean from Back to the future there, I took a picture threatening my girlfriend with the hoverboard (I’m such a gentleman.)

6. As part of their promotion for Skyward Sword, they were handing out free ocarinas to anyone who proved themselves worthy. My superior Zelda knowledge may have made me worthy of the ocarina, but it doesn’t mean I can play a goddamn thing on it.

7. In terms of cosplay we saw a woman walking around with a terrifying dog head, a guy dressed as Ryuk the demon from Death Note, several power rangers, and one guy dressed as Rebecca Black.

Conventions like this are a great day out if you enjoy the geekier side of life, just make sure you bring some cash with you, cashpoints get flooded by people wanting to buy swag. I bought my lady a Totoro!

The MCM Expo will be back in May, and there are similar events happening all over. Go with some friends and it’s a great laugh, but I’m still the one with a goddamn ocarina!

Update

Check out the pictures from MCM on our facebook page.

I am. If you or someone you know wants to buy a game as a gift, here is my helpful guide. As with all my what to buy someone guides, KEEP THE RECEIPT IN CASE THEY ALREADY HAVE IT OR CAN’T PLAY IT FOR SOME REASON.

First things first: What do they play their games on?

This is the first step you need to work out if you’re buying someone a game. Either have a sneaky look at their gaming setup or ask around.

Wii: Looks like this.

Xbox 360: Looks like this or this.

Playstation 3: Looks like this or this.

PC: Can look like… well, a PC.

Now on to the individual games, while my Comics article was all about the classics, this article’s going to be about all this seasons new releases because 1. It opens several cans of worms around what console they’re using and 2. Because we’ll be here all day.

Battlefield 3 (PC, Xbox 360 and PS3)

The battlefield series has always been about jumping online with about sixty other people and shooting at each other until your team wins. You can run around on foot or in vehicles like jeeps, tanks, helicopters or even jet fighters if you ever get there before everyone else fighting over them. I got very seriously into Battlefield 2 back in the day, and from what I’ve seen this new version is streaks ahead of its predecessor.

Buy it if: They enjoy playing games online or shooting games.

You can buy Battlefield 3 here. 

Gears of War 3 (Xbox 360)

The Gears of War series is often accused of starting or perpetuating the smear of gritty brown shooter games of the last five years. You run behind cover and pop out to shoot enemies in a post-apocalyptic world where… something happened so we have to shoot at it.

It’s never been my kind of thing, but I have always enjoyed playing it with friends, and this newest instalment has made that part even better with the ability for four players to beat the story together, and even more to shoot each other online.

Buy it if: They enjoyed the other two Gears of War games, or any brown/grey shooter games where they sit behind little walls shooting at enemies.

You can buy Gears of War 3 here. 

Modern Warfare 3 (PC, Xbox 360 and PS3)

As regular as clockwork, Activision releases another Call of Duty game for the holiday seasons to part youngsters of their money.

The story plays like your everyday action movies, but the games have frequently pulled quite a few good surprises in telling them, such as a scene in the first game where the player gets caught in a nuclear blast. The series prints money, but it has done so for very good reason so far.

Buy it if: They enjoy Tom Clancey Novels, Michael Bay movies or anything to do with military equipment. Be sure to give them a copy of “All quiet on the Western Front” or “Bridsong” while you’re at it.

You can buy Modern Warfare 3 here.

Elder Scrolls: Skyrim (PC, Xbox 360 and PS3)

The newest game in the Elder Scrolls Series, I’ve never played any of the previous games like Morrowind and Oblivion but their reputation precedes them. Epic Fantasy with swords and magic and Dragons and wise old men sending you out to get unicorn pelts. You can really lose yourself in the atmosphere while running away from a horde of giant crabs.

Buy it if: They like their swords and sorcery. Fantasy and RPG lovers will be all over this.

You can buy The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim here.

Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword

The legend of Zelda series is back for another collectathon! I’ve been playing these since I was ten and they still keep me coming back for more.

Buy it if: They have a Wii… Seriously, this is the only thing they’ve got to look forward to now Nintendo only cares about the 3DS and shovelware.

You can buy Skyward Sword here.

Batman Arkham City

Batman Arkham Asylum was an absolute tour de force back in 2009 with a game that let you punch sneak and connive your way through an insane asylum that had been taken over by the Joker. I wrote a review that you can read here. This time around the game has spread out over a whole city that you can swing around in while muttering “I’m Batman!”

Buy it if: They like their comic books, played the first game or like games where you get to sneak around and not kill people.

You can buy Arkham City here.

Assassins Creed Revelations

Assassins Creed 1, 2 and Brotherhood are absolutely brilliant games where you run around on rooftops in historical cities and stab evil people with hidden knives. The story is turning out to be absolutely superb and Revelations is looking to be the conclusion to the story of Ezio Auditore Da Firenze, the protagonist of the last two games.

Buy it if: They enjoy stealth, parkour, history or learning a little Italian. The attention to detail in these games is superb, they should really use these kinds of games to teach people more about these kinds of subjects.

You can buy Assassins Creed: Revelations here.

Fifa 2012: Footballl… That’s it. If they like football or have all the other eight billion versions of this, then they’ll like this.

You can buy Fifa 2012 here.

Saints Row the Third

Imagine if you were put into a city where you could get away with anything? Where you could rampage around destroying anything you pleased? That’s what the Saints Row games are like! Catharsis with a sense of humour!

It’s making Grand Theft Auto look rather Dora the Explorer. Couple that with online Co-Op where you can play with a friend and you have something really special.

Buy it if: they liked the GTA games, or have a rather silly but dark sense of humour.

You can buy Saints Row: the Third here.

Mario Kart 7 (3DS)

It’s Mario Kart, what’s not to like! You know this already.

Buy it if: They have a 3DS and friends. Mario Kart is only fun when you have friends to shout at when they get a blue shell and kill you from the other end of the track, nothing really beats three friends and this kind of game.

You can buy Mario Kart 7 here.

Ace Combat: Assault Horizon

Imagine if you took the flight simulator games and gave it a really good story. That’s Ace Combat. The series has had its ups and downs, with 6 being a bit weak in comparison to the others. But at its worst, the series has been fun and inventive, and Assault Horizon looks like it’s really going to shake things up.

Buy it if: They like jet fighters, or poignant war stories. It seems somewhat paradoxical to have an anti-war message when you play as a literal doom-machine raining fire on thousands of planes, tanks and buildings but some the games have done a really good job at making war seem like hell even when you’re having so much fun!

You can buy Ace Combat: Assault Horizon here.

So there you have it. If you weren’t sure what to buy that special someone, I hope this clears things up a little for you. Be sure to check out our other articles if they’re into Comic Books.

So here’s how I’m going to try to help. Every week I will give you a new article to help you buy something for a loved one or a friend, ten suggestions and my reasons for suggesting them.

So without further ado: What to buy someone if they’re into… COMICS!

1. Watchmen/The Sandman/Maus.

Why they’re good: If you ask anyone what the greatest comic books are and they’ll probably suggest at least one of these.

Watchmen is an absolutely seminal piece that first examined what kind of person would actually become a superhero, it follows a fascinating cast of characters as they react to one of their number being murdered by being thrown out of their apartment window.  The entire comics industry changed from the influence of this book, and none of them have really captured the magic of the original.

The Sandman follows the god of dreams across time and space. One episode will be about him battling through Hell to find his former girlfriend, the next could be about him making a random human immortal and watching him change over seven hundred years. It acts more like a collection of short stories with a big theme about stories, dreams and how they tie together. It’s weird, it’s wonderful and it’s a beautiful read.

Maus is much simpler than the other two. It follows the author’s father, Vladek Spiegelman as he tells the story of his life during World War Two, including his time at a concentration camp. The fact this is actually a true story gives everything so much more weight. It’s the comic book world’s equivalent of Schindler’s List. It’s not pretty, it’s not fun, but when you finish it and put it down you somehow feel like you’re a little bit more grown up for reading it.

Buy them if: I decided to lump these three together in the top spot because they’re the absolute pinnacle of comic books. So while they are brilliant, it’s also likely your friend already read it. If they’re serious about comics, they’ve probably read them, if they’re just getting into them or they’ve stuck to the normal Marvel/DC lines they won’t. If you get it wrong they’ll at least think you have good taste.

You can buy Watchmen here.

You can buy the first book of the Sandman here.

Maus can be found here.

2. Red Son.

Why it’s good: Red Son is a standalone comic that follows the life of Superman if he had landed in Russia instead of America. I thought it was going to be a bit of silly fun, showing an evil red scare Superman. But instead it actually takes a healthy and nuanced stance on Communism by having Supes believe that he should be helping everyone for the common good. He almost fits in Russia better than he does in America, but he finds himself stretched thin helping everyone all over the world and has to contend with an increasingly paranoid America trying to kill him constantly.

Buy it if: Your friend enjoys a bit of Superman comics or movies but hasn’t read the more esoteric stuff like this. It really gives a whole new perspective on Superman’s character.

You can buy Red Son here.

3. The Boys/Preacher.

Why it’s good: Welcome to the world of Garth Ennis, one of my favourite comic book writers of all time. He’s weird, he’s dark and very very funny.

Preacher follows a priest, his girlfriend and a vampire on a quest across America to find god… So they can beat the hell out of him for making such a mess of the world. Along the way they encounter a disfigured boy called Arseface, the KKK, Sexual Detectives, and the embodiment of death in the form of a cowboy… it’s like a depraved modern cowboy epic.

The Boys follows a young man who looks suspiciously like Simon Pegg who joins a secret CIA team who dress up in trenchcoats and beat Superheroes into line when they misbehave. It’s just as good as Preacher, and almost even more extreme.

Buy it if: They’re old enough to take it, seriously, it’s brilliant but not for the youngsters. If your friend has a dark sense of humour, can find the funny side in less than savoury subjects and enjoys a bit of gore they will love it. More prudish individuals or religious people may want to steer clear though.

You can buy the first edition of The Boys here.

You can buy the first edition of Preacher here.

4. Kingdom Come.

Why it’s good: Kingdom Come follows the entire DC universe’s superheroes gearing up for a war of epic proportions when Superman makes a mistake that destroys the whole of Kansas and goes off for a sulk. In his absence a new breed of superhero emerges, vigilantes who are dark and brooding and more interested in killing evil than saving good…

Yeah it’s a little heavy handed in its message but it’s a good story well told and it’s got some of the most beautiful artwork I have ever seen. Every panel is like an individual oil painting.

Buy it if: Your friend has read a lot of darker comic books like The Boys, Preacher or the Punisher. It’s a great way of bringing a little light back to comic books.

You can buy Kingdom Come here.

5. Pride of Baghdad.

Why it’s good: It’s about a pride of Lions that escape from a Zoo in Iraq during the Gulf War when a bomb blast destroys the cage walls. Only one of them even remembers life before captivity and the others have to adjust to their new and unfamiliar surroundings full of escaped wildlife, terrified humans and American war machines ravaging the land.

Imagine the Lion King mixed with Black Hawk Down and you might have a good idea of what you’re in for.

Buy it if: Your friend likes a damn good story. Pride of Baghdad is a good bet because it shares three great attributes. 1. You don’t have to worry about continuity, 2. It’s an intelligent self-contained story and 3. It’s not as well known as Maus or Watchmen so they’re not as likely to have read it.

You can buy Pride of Baghdad here.

6. Deadpool.

Why it’s good: Ever since the eighties Superhero comics have grown progressively darker and grittier in a desperate bid to convince people they’re a worthy art form… that and calling them ‘Graphic Novels’. Angst, depression and hatred are the name of the game for most of these comic books, Deadpool is just one of many series that brought things back to being entertaining again.

Deadpool is a super-soldier who has gone so insane that he realises that he’s in a comic book. He talks to his own speech bubbles and mocks the comics industry while having wacky adventures around all the other straight-faced and uncomprehending superheroes of the marvel universe.

It’s hilarious, doesn’t care about continuity and makes a great change from all the pretentiousness.

Buy it if: your friend has a good sense of humour and enjoys their superhero comics. Everybody loves a bit of Deadpool. Just grab any old one, the continuity isn’t too important for this guy. But i recommend “Suicide Kings” if you find it. Watching Deadpool riif off of the Punisher and Daredevil is brilliant.

You can buy Deadpool: Suicide Kings here.

7. V For Vendetta.

Why it’s good: Written by Alan Moore, the man behind Watchmen. V for Vendetta is about a Britain that has become a terrifying dictatorship under a hyper-conservative government. A mysterious man in a mask who calls himself V sets out to put things right one murder at a time.

It has a lot in common with the film, but the original is much, much smarter.

Buy it if: Your friend enjoyed the movie, liked Watchmen or takes a passing interest in politics. Whether you agree with the main characters ideals or not doesn’t matter when it’s built around a good yarn like this.

You can buy V for Vendetta here.

So there you have it. I hope this guide helps you get that perfect gift for that special someone. The only other piece of advice I think I need to give is keep the receipt!

While this is going on a Mayor of a small American town is having a problem with his genius brothers lack of social skills and his son not accepting his new wife. There is some high school stuff with his son dating the ex of the school bully and a lets make sure everyone knows he is a genius scene.

Eventually the hot one works out it’s a gravitational sinkhole and says they have 96hours until it eats the earth. Shit starts to get real as gravity is lessoned so two people can easily throw a car, tornadoes run rampant and London is destroyed also a tsunami hits Manhattan. The mayor’s brother tells him he knows how to stop it so head off to Houston.

The hot one works out the best way to stop it is to create another one next to it to cancel it out but they need to find the exact point to create it otherwise it could just make it more powerful. So they input the figures into the computer to work out the location. The calculations will take 32hours and the world will be eaten in 32hours so they set it off and hope it will finish it before they are all killed. During this time the mayor and his brother are on their way to Houston they get attacked but mange to get away.

The small town has been wreaked but the mayors son’s girlfriend can’t find her parents so they head off to look for them after the step mum gives him a gun for emergencies, which to be honest is asking for trouble. They head out but find the mayors son’s girlfriends ex who is getting his “looting” on. The mayors son’s girlfriends ex then threatens the mayors son and the mayors son’s girlfriend, so the mayors son pulls the gun out on the mayors son’s girlfriends ex. The mayor’s son’s girlfriends ex then pulls out his own gun and shoots mayors son, The mayors son’s girlfriends ex then starts to have some unrequested and uncalled for fun from mayors son’s girlfriend.

At this point we cut to the Mayors new wife wondering the school hall where the town has gathered. She suddenly realises the mayors son has left so goes to find him. With ease she seems to find the house where the “unrequested and uncalled for fun” and the bleeding to death mayors son. Where the Mayors son call her mum before he dies then she shoots The mayors son’s girlfriends ex who didn’t seem to get far in his “unrequested and uncalled for fun” ways.

We now cut to the mayor and his brother driving to Houston. Unfortunately the mayor had forgotten to bring his heart medication so he isn’t doing too well. He pulls over to help a damsel in short dress who tries to steal the car but the mayor’s brother gives them a kicking with a tyre iron and they set off.

The hot scientist is in panic the computer has crashed due to lack of memory there is no way they can finish the mathematical formula! We cut to the entrance of the NASA where the mayor is having a heart attack and his brother is trying to get in. they manage it his brother (the mayor) is taken to the medical bay. The hot one dismisses him but reconsiders when he mentions part of the code they then steal his computer and find the code. The lead military man asks the hot one what she thinks will happen she says it might create a wormhole, a parallel dimension or reverse time.

I think you can guess what happens now! Overall this was an interesting film that just like Sanctum you can see what’s going to happen but it’s an interesting ride. the hot one from Farscape definitely helped!

Current IMDB Rating: 2.9/10   My Rating: 5/10

I learnt a few things from this film though if you are setting a reality show in the middle of a forest in the middle of nowhere you should properly scout the area for deformed psychopaths.

Also you can cut someone in half with an axe and I don’t mean horizontally I mean vertically!

And if you’re out in the woods and you find a bbq with no one around its most likely to be human meat cooking.

In the end I think the film would have been improved with a little Faith .

Current IMDB Rating 5.5/10 My Rating 6/10

Sanctum is about a large previously unexplored cave system and what happens when a large storm floods the cave trapping people inside. Just from that you can more than likely tell me the plot. If I add in the expedition leader has made his estranged Son who hates caves come along. I could also add in the selfish thrill seeking benefactor and his girlfriend who has never gone spelunking before.

However even though you could tell me the order everyone dies by or at least tell me who lives to the end, this is an enjoyable film. There were points in the film I felt the tension, I worried about the characters even though I knew they wouldn’t make it. The see it from a mile off estranged son and father getting on like proper father and son scene was touching and well done. Alister Grierson (the director) seems like he really knows how to put a scene together and get the best from the actors. I didn’t see this film in 3D due to it making my head hurt so I can’t comment on how that was, I did notice some obvious 3D moments though.

So in closing you know what’s going to happen but it will still be a fun ride.

Current IMDB 5.7/10    My Rating 6.5/10

Anyway I’m getting ahead of myself here, Rite is about a funeral directors son Michael Kovak (played by Colin O’Donoghue) who decides the best way out of the family business, is to join a church sponsored college to train to become a priest, then bail on the course when you have to sign on the holy line. However when it comes to the bailing part, he is talked into going on exorcism course in Italy before he decides. Which if you ask me is a pretty good deal I’d be well chuffed if when I tried and quit a job, they sent me on holiday for two months to try and make me stay! So off Michael pops to Rome, for a two month working holiday. As someone that got into the priesthood for the benefit’s not the beliefs, he is understandably sceptic about the whole possessed by daemons malarkey. So the teacher of the class Father Xavier (played by Ciaran Hinds who reminded me of Alfred Molina in Spiderman 2) decides to send him to see the exorcist with “different techniques”. Which is where we meet Father Lucas (played by Sir Tony) who we learn hates cats. He is also treating a young pregnant girl who he believes is possessed by a daemon, however sceptical Michael believes she has mental issues caused by the trauma she has suffered. Even when Rosaria spits up coffin nails from nowhere Michael still doubts she is possessed. It then plays out like a standard exorcist film daemonic screaming, knowing things she couldn’t and speaking English when she doesn’t know how. I lost interest at this point I have seen a few exorcist film and this is normally how they end. However when I paused it to go to the loo I noticed It still had a large chunk of the film left. I was intrigued  and it to be frank rocked! I was pleased it had done something different unlike other recent exorcist films (The last exorcist I’m looking at you, mockumentry isn’t a new or a fun thing) I don’t want to spoil the end of this film as I’m sure lovers of sudo-horror/Sir Tony films will want to check it out.

Actor wise I don’t think a better job could be done by anyone else, Sir Tony really shows his acting chops and the Mulder and Scully relationship he forms with Colin O’Donoghue is a believable and charming.

Another thing I like about this film is the lack of subtitles. Not that I hate subtitles but especially with a film like this I don’t need everything translated as its more about the context then content. I don’t need to know what Sir Tony is shouting at the little boy just that the little boy deserved to be shouted at.

My downside and the thing I didn’t like about this film was the textbook start. As I have seen it all before I wasn’t really that bothered I wasn’t paying that much attention. It wasn’t till about an hour in I was interested in what was happening. It really feels like two different movies smooshed together its just a shame that one of the films clearly outshines the other.

Current IMDB Rating: 6/10  My Rating 6.5/10

After careful consideration I have decided that the Murdoch Empire has become what my 8-year-old, streets of rage playing self would have called “The Baddies”. These Baddies need to be stopped, but unfortunately this is as far as my “streets of rage” analogy can go. The human races doesn’t act like computer game characters, I for one was looking forward to putting on a white t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off, blue jeans and a blue bandanna. I’m sure I have a hot female friend who can wear a skimpy leather bikini with knee high boots. This is started to become more and more like a good idea, every now and again picking up an over sized metal pipe which will disappear after I’ve dropped it after trying to pick up a knife, accidentally.  Also in the scenario I will be able to find an over sized apple or roast turkey under a rubbish bin and eat it in seconds to heal my wounds.

So who is with me on this revolution? We don’t protest, we don’t write petitions, and we don’t boycott the News of the World. We go out in early 90’s 16bit style and kick some ass.

So here is Alan Smithy, he seemed nice in the Email.

I never want to own a shed! Sheds are for people who have never fulfilled their life’s dreams and feel the only place they can be themselves is their shed, it would be like having a second life. People shouldn’t lie to themselves or the people they live with.  My father never had a shed and neither will I.

My point if I even have one is that this week I have realised that I have to be myself. Not only do I hate my work and regret my job description, but I feel like no time is the present to try and make the leap into the department that will keep me from having a shed. These thoughts have come about due to my birthday rolling around next month, when I started working in television as a runner some years ago I had just turned 18 and said to myself “you have 3 years, which is the same about of time I would have spent at university, to learn as much as possible and be in a better position then the people leaving with degrees”. To be honest I have done that and I have made approximately £50,000 rather than being in £36,000 of debt. Working in post production isn’t my calling I have to make new exciting comedy to entertain the masses. Maybe I’m using this as a sounding board, maybe I’m scared of making another big risky jump in my career Or maybe in documenting my current decision, so that if it all goes “Pete Tong” I can justify my decision in hindsight.

I have 3 shows in development, all with no money attached to them but hopefully due to a meeting I’m going to have next week this could change. My job could change. My career direction could dramatically change for the better. I’d love to tell you all about them but I like to keep my cards close to my chest, sorry that’s just how I roll.

Maybe I just wanted to introduce myself and my current dilemma for my first entry. I don’t know what im going to use this space for, maybe its to talk about my current singledem, maybe it’s a way for my to anonymously have an outlet about work, or maybe it’s a way for me to have a convocation about myself but not have to worry about the other person talking.

rifles, machine-guns and handguns. And secretly, haven’t we all thought sometimes ‘man, I wanna be that guy!’

Everyone’s heard of paintball, but when the guns look more like bug-sprayers, and everyone wears neon sports gear, it’s hard to feel badass and like you’re in a gun battle as part of a crack military unit, or part of a SWAT team facing down a gang of criminals, or even just your favourite movie badass on the big screen.

But rejoice – because there’s another way to get your gunfight kicks – welcome to the world of Airsoft.

Similar to paintball in terms of the concept (as much as airsofters would beg to differ), airsoft guns use 6mm plastic ball-bearings at a velocity of no more than 350 feet per second. This is to ensure that while you feel a hit, it doesn’t leave a lasting mark or impression – and it doesn’t hurt too much to stop you enjoying the game.

Games are wildly varied across all manner of playing arenas – there are woodland and urban airsot sites, based in things such as underground disused bunkers, Hospitals, factories, disused RAF or Army bases, swathes of woodland and farmland, quarries and, probably unique to the UK, a shopping mall, up and down the length and breadth of the UK and other countries as well. The games themselves can be a single day of a number of individual games lasting anywhere from ten minutes to several hours, or can be multi-day ‘military simulations’, or ‘milsims’ with detailed backgrounds and storylines, multiple factions, props and even vehicles used by different groups involved.

Airsoft is a popular and growing hobby, with sites of all kinds across the UK, in England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland, as well as all across the rest of the world – so you’re never too far from a site.

How do the rules work?

Unsuprisingly, when you get hit by a BB directly from a gun (yes, friendly fire counts!), then you’re out. Unlike paintball, it doesn’t leave you visibly marked, so the games are run on the honour system. And it’s usually pretty easy to see when people are cheating. Mistakes do happen, and people don’t notice being hit from time to time – but when it’s genuine foul play, the penalty tends to be a stern talking to – and if the offender persists, then they’re usually chucked off site. Not to mention, earning the scorn of everyone else in the game. Unsurprisingly, cheaters aren’t very common in airsoft.

Most games run on players having a single life per being shot, and often use

things such as respawn points, similar to video games, or having to be tagged by another player to come back into the game – all of which add to the tactical rules of the game in progress.

The objectives of the games are much like any First Person Shooter you’d play online – capturing a flag, defending a base, planting a bomb, eliminating the other team. All of those are common game types in a normal one-day skirmishing event, and are common on all sorts of airsoft sites, along with a lot of other more inventive and varied kinds of games besides.

For milsim type games, things can get a lot more complicated and varied, with players being split up into varied factions, which are then further split into different groups, each tasked with different objectives throughout a day of playing, and often include things such as a command staff, radio communications, vehicles, and simulated fire support. In some cases, they’ll even include eating and sleeping in the field, and limits on how mcuh ammo a player can have on their person at a time, and what kind of magazines (for their weapons!) can be used.

I’ve had experience in both kinds of game, and enjoyed them equally. I’ve been in a game in the depths of the Welsh hills, in a village used for military maneuvers and training, assaulting buildings and facing down Armoured Personnel Carriers, Hummvees and exchanging fire with people sheltering in other buildings. Dodging across a garden to lob a grenade through windows, while counting on my teammates to give me covering fire. And it really does feel like you’re part of an epic set-piece battle, at the climax of a movie.

The Sunday games are often much more fast-paced and more like an online game, where there’s little background or storyline – but the action is all there, along with the playful atmosphere and chance to chit-chat and make some friends, as the groups are often much smaller than the far larger milsim-style events.

What about the guns?

The reason most people are interested in airsoft is, let’s face it, because they’re enjoy the idea of playing with guns, in one way or another.

Fortunately, Airsoft guns are of the utterly non-lethal variety. But of course, not still without deserving to be respected – Always wear eye protection when handling a loaded airsoft gun, as, despite the low velocity of the weapons, they could damage your eyes if hit directly.

Guns are available in a variety of styles and types. Most ‘shoulder weapons’ – that is, rifles, submachine-guns, and machineguns, such as the AK-47, M-16, MP-5, and suchlike, as seen in many video games and movies, are powered by a hi-capacity battery, like those in radio-controlled cars, and are capable of semi-automatic (aka ‘single-shot’) and fully-automatic modes of fire, and use a gearbox and an air piston to fire – which is where the name ‘airsoft’ comes from.

All sorts of guns and accessories are available, from things like flashlights, optical sights and lasers, to things like underslung shotguns or grenade launchers.

Handguns are also available, and most players will carry one as a backup

weapon for use in close quarters, or when they feel like it. Pistols and other handguns are usually powered by gas (normally a form of compressed HFC-134a gas), which is fed into a compartment in the butt of a pistol magazine, along with the ammunition. Of course, given the weather in Britain, this tends to mean that they’re less reliable in the winter time, but there are electically powered alternatives available – but they lack the authentic-looking moving slides and hammers, and the more meaty ‘crack’ when you fire a shot – and the near-real size and weight magazines.

In the UK, due to changes in the law regarding replica firearms over the last few years, it has become significantly harder to purchase an airsoft gun if you’re interested in the hobby. To do so, if you want a fully realistic replica, a player must be ‘registered’ as an airsoft player, which involves attending No less than three games at the same site in No less than two months, and getting this certified by filling in an application form from the United Kingdom Airsoft Retailers Association, who will check your membership when you purchase a gun from them – be it online, or in a store.

Never trust any retailer selling airsoft guns without asking for UKARA membership – They are breaking the law!

The exception to the above regulations would be to buy what is known as a ‘two-tone’ gun. They are airsoft replicas with at least 50% of the gun coloured anything other than a realistic colour – such as bright blue, or bright green, or any other delightful neon colouration. While they are legal for purchase by

anyone over the age of 16 and without a UKARA membership, most skirmish sites will not allow them to be used, as they are somewhat… distracting… from normal play. Some will let you use them if the neon portions are coloured with electrical tape or some other method of darkening it, but to do so yourself permanently would also contravene the law – as modifying a what is defined as an ‘Imitation Firearm’ into a ‘Realistic Imitation Firearm’ is illegal – even if you have your UKARA membership.

But there are still ways to join in, despite these regulations – most, if not all, airsoft sites offer the rental and hire of airsoft guns for a game day, along with eye protection and magazines for the gun in question. Some will also offer you the use of camouflage clothing for the day too, sparing you from getting your own clothes muddy or damaged. The only thing you’d need otherwise is absolutely a pair of boots – because your ankles will thank you afterwards!

Renting and going for a Sunday game is the best way to start playing – as it allows you the experience of playing the game, and handling the weapons, without having to shell out cash for your own kit first time – only to find out you don’t like the game, and it isn’t what you think. It also allows you to meet some people, have a look at their stuff and see what there is in the market, and to get some ideas on what you might like to do. You can also get your UKARA membership this way too, if you’re a UK resident. Even for those of you in the rest of the world, who have different laws and regulations regarding the purchase of Airsoft Replicas, rental is still the way to go, as you’ll get the best idea of what the hobby is like.

Airsoft is a hobby or activity that isn’t for everyone – unlike paintball, it has restrictions that deny it a wider appeal and availability, mainly due to the nature of the guns being replicas themselves. However, it can be an excellent team-building activity and a completely different day out of fun for a group of friends who are interested in doing something different and varied.

Most of the new players I’ve met or overheard lately have come to airsofting after playing video games such as Call of Duty or Bad Company, and wanted to see what it was like to hold full-sized replicas, and get out in a field and run around with them, wearing some similar gear and equipment. Other players are often active or retired members of the Armed Forces who have wanted something to replace the adrenaline they’ve had before, or people who want something similar to re-enacting, but more modern or with a bit more of a pace. And indeed, there are Second World War and Vietnam War-era period games, often on a large scale, and some other specialist sites often games that are a blend of Live-Action Role-Playing in settings with a great deal of time spent on background and storylines, as much as on rules and game details.

In short, if you’re curious or interested in the idea of airsoft, it’s worth taking a look into to find your local site, and maybe going along just for a day to see what you think – I’d recommend it, and I’ve been playing for years!

If you want to find out more, try some of these links:

Arnie’s Airsoft ((http://arniesairsoft.co.uk/news2/)) – a regularly updated news section, reviews of guns and gear, as well as a large, international forums section

Airsoft International Magazine ((http://www.ai-mag.com/)) – A monthly Airsoft Magazine, published and written in the UK, and available from all good high-street retailers.

UK Airsoft Zone ((http://ukairsoftzone.co.uk)) – a large forum site, with lots of resources for players old and new.

Well guys, how do you like the new site? I wrote about a few of it’s intricacies here. If you have anything you’d like to say just jump into our new comments section, I’d love to hear it.

Windows 8:

I took the piss out of the iPad when I first saw it but that sold like cakes made of thermite. Now Microsoft are getting in on the action with something that I find genuinely interesting. Their new OS actually scales from smartphones to tablets to laptops to PCs without much difference across the platforms. It’s built for touch screens, mice and keyboards so you can use whatever the hell you want to get your PC fix.

And the kicker is that they say it’ll have lower system requirements than Windows 7. If that all works out it will blow me away.

I’m still going to wait for the first service pack to come out though. I might even be ultra hipster by using Chrome OS instead.

Batman Arkham City… A NEW CHALLENGER HAS ARRIVED!

Batman Arkham Asylum is one of my favourite games of all time, I was rather just hoping for more of the same, but they seem to have really pushed the boats out now.

And by ‘boats’ I am, of course, talking about her titties.

Creepiest ad ever:

I never expected something to keep me watching for a whole seven minutes, but not only did this video accomplish that, but I was pretty much laughing the whole time.

Six years old and he’s already a total pimp:

Look at this kid, drifting around in a sports car with a girl in the seat next to him… And he’s at least eighteen years younger than me.

I like how he’s ditched the girl by the end, probably felt her slowing the car down.

Nice Guys;

Great lyrics, a catchy tune and it’s funny as well. I guess this fills the musical quota for the week.

Game of the week, Nyan Cat edition:

If you’re not familiar with Nyan cat, you can try your luck here.

Somebody’s only gone and turned it into a game based off Robot Unicorn Attack.

Ladies and gentlemen, I hereby present:

Nyanicorn

There are no words… Mostly because I’m still playing it in the other tab.

For those of you that don’t know, The MCM Expo is a comic con, an event where comic readers, cartoon watchers, videogame players and anime masturbators gather to share their mutual love of all things geeky. It can be sexy, it can be horrifying, it can be tiring and it can be the most fun you will ever have if you enjoy anything normally considered nerdy.

While I would recommend events like this in a heartbeat, there are a few things you need to know before you go.

1. Always, always, ALWAYS buy your tickets in advance.

My friend tried to get tickets at the door and ended up waiting in line for two hours. We still had a great time, but we could have done without that faff. Buy your ticket online, print it out and wave it at the staff who will politely usher you past the aircraft hanger sized queue to the good stuff.

2. Pack and dress light.

It can get pretty damn warm in there and you will spend the whole time walking around, if you’re not dressing up as anything then dress for the summer, because you will boil alive. If you are dressing up, make it something skimpy, because I’ll enjoy it more… unless you’re thirteen or something.

3. Don’t mess with Voldemort.

I tried to get a picture with me hugging the dark lord himself but he wasn’t having any of that and threw me to my knees. Thankfully Jonny leapt into action and rescued me after getting a couple of photos in.

On the other hand, there’s a photo coming soon of me hugging the Alien… he was lovely.

Now you can consider yourself ready to Con yourself silly. Here are some of my highlights of the event.

People I Know: I met the absolutely wonderful Timothy Winchester while I was cruising around the comic tables and he struck up a conversation with me. I offered to buy one of his comics, but he insisted that I read a bit of one of them first before committing anything. I read one page of absolute gold and demanded that he take my money.

When I came back round near the end of the day about five hours later he still remembered me by name and gave me a free mini-comic along with my second purchase.

His website is brilliant, his comics are worth buying and Timothy himself deserves all your money. Get to it people!

ASDF and TomSka: The fellow behind the ASDF videos was selling comics and signing them, the comic rehashes a few of the cartoons sketches, but TomSka himself was a fun guy who signed the comic for me, doodled on it and said he hoped it would bring me lots of luck with people of the opposite sex. Check out his videos some time, and if you find yourself in a situation where you can get a signed comic, get it, the guy’s a great laugh.

Simons Cat: Simon Townsend of Simon’s Cat fame had a booth selling his books and merchandise, I bought one of the books and asked him to sign it… instead I got a drawing of the titular cat lounging on the pages of my book.

What a great guy! I’ll get pics ASAP!

The Futurama cast: The voice actors from Futurama turned up and did a panel. I didn’t see the whole thing because Jonny and Sophie arrived part way through, but I wasn’t particularly fussed, the sound system wasn’t very good and I could barely make out what they were saying. They were quite fun though.

The Cosplayers: I found at least five Deadpools, four Rorschach’s, I got hugged by three Misty’s (or three times by the same one.) I hugged the Alien as I mentioned, I tried to get a photo with some stormtroopers but missed them and found my absolute highlight in the form of a guy dressed as a Steampunk companion cube. There were some absolutely brilliant costumes at the convention and such a sense of camaraderie.

I’ll have some pictures up as soon as I get them developed, there is another MCM expo coming in October and I plan to be a little more prepared next time with Unbored cards and maybe shirts to show off. If you plan to tag along, give me a shout and we’ll meet up and high-five or something.

UPDATE. Pictures!

On with the stuff!

Who knew the Dulcimer could be so badass.

A Guy explains the scientific inaccuracies of My Little Pony.

At first it was sleight of hand, then it became sorcery.

The most epic use of a Violin ever.

I love how genuinely happy she looks while she does this.

The funniest gay robot you will ever see.

1. Kickball – It is easy to setup and does not require a lot of equipment. And, to be honest, it does not require a lot of talent. That means countries can continuously replenish their ranks, even if the war goes on for years and becomes a kickball game of attrition.

2. Pie Eating Contest – This one can get ugly, but who can resist some good pie? Your country will have tons of volunteers to your new pie eating army. There are bound to be casualties, but a good vomit now and then never hurt anyone. Right?

3. Battle Bots – Instead of investing all that money to build devices that kill people, how about building robots that kill each other? OK, obviously this one has the potential to backfire (think Terminator), but as long as we set limits on robot intelligence and super strength, humanity should be safe. Plus, it will make great entertainment, as it has proven on the famous reality show by the same name.

4. Survivor – Gather up the best and bravest from each country and have them test their wits and survival skills in Antarctica or some other neutral location. It would have been much more entertaining to see if Bush or Bin Laden would be the first to barf up his grub worm stew.

5. World of Warcraft – If only everything were settled by video games. Every country has them, and technology allows massive multiplayer online role playing games to transcend language barriers. Imagine a war that rages on between international guilds with no actual bloodshed (although egos will certainly be crushed).

6. Horse Racing – And they’re off! In auto racing, we have the problem of technological advantages of some nations over others, but everyone has horses and little people to ride them wearing cute helmets and colorful clothes. Furthermore, would it not be cool for a war hero to be named Heaven’s Lucky Lady?

7. Laser Tag – This should appease the war mongers. You can still shoot people, throw grenades, and even watch things light up in the dark, but no one will die. By the way, I would SO own all of you in Laser Tag. Bring it on, Al-Qaeda!

8. Ninja Warrior – Just put together a freaking awesome obstacle course and find some crazy part-time athletes from your country to run it and endure the humiliation of repeated failure. Eventually, someone is bound to win, and to the winner’s country (or insurgent army) go the spoils.

9. Team Building – Our bosses make us do it, so we should spread the love and force the government leaders who claim to represent us to go out in the woods with their enemies and do some trust falls together. It may suck, but they might actually learn something and come back with some peaceful solutions.

10. Big Brother – Again, why should the average non-violent citizen have to be bothered with war when we can just lock our presidents, kings, dictators, and representatives in a big house and watch them go crazy? We owe to ourselves and our children to at least consider watching them make fools of themselves on live TV. Best of all, they would not be allowed to come out until their differences were resolved.

OK, so this is probably not the list you were hoping to see. There is no sure-fire way to end war, but these alternatives definitely beat blowing up houses and counting dead bodies. So, the next time Congress (or whatever your country calls it) decides to declare war, tell them you want them to declare kickball.

Tavis J. Hampton an embedded World of Warcraft correspondent for All Blogs Considered. He loves chicken pot pie and the awesome skills of dedicated host 34SP.com. He writes for a living.

I also wrote a piece on this years ATP curated by Animal Collective. It wasn’t for me, but there were a few real gems there.

Now, here’s what I’ve found this week that might excite you.

Mass Effect’s soundtrack can make anything sound epic:

Mass Effect is a brilliant series of games, and their music is no exception. How watch the glor of it being dubbed over the House of Commons.

I love how it fits so well with the argument. And how pathetic it sounds when you turn the music off.

Piracy threatening books? Maybe not.

A new book has been taking the Amazon best sellers list by storm, and it isn’t even out yet. But a PDF version has apparently been leaked and is spreading like wildfire.

The book in question? It’s a bedtime story called Go the Fuck to sleep. I don’t think any more needs to be said. I don’t even need to pirate it to know it’s good.

Valve are working on something glorious.

They are actively experimenting with ways to charge their customers more if they act like wankers in their games. As somebody that gave up on online gaming because of how hit-and-miss the experience can be with the people online, I wholeheartedly approve of this.

I hope this works out for them and that they set a great precedent towards making people on the internet act like decent human beings.

Read the full story here.

Some pictures you might enjoy.

Just have a gander and silently judge me.

Videos of the week. Sleepy cat and determined dog.

First up, a quickie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBNhp2qbYEs

And finally… this guy really doesn’t want to play with that dog. What a dick! Oh wait.

Have a good weekend everybody. See you on the other side!

Seth MacFarlane is going to revive “The Flintstones”.

I’ll let that sink in for a moment. If you’re not a fan of Seth’s work, you may be gaping at your screen in horror, imagining endless “e-rock-tion” jokes and Dino’s reincarnation as a fey triceratops with a glue addiction. Even I have to admit that I am slightly dubious, given how disappointed I was with the most recent offerings from Family Guy and Cleveland.  However, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that I actually think he’ll pull this project off quite well.

After all, American Dad just keeps getting better and better. And for all that Family Guy is rude and crude, it is well written, clever at times, and expertly drawn and acted. You can’t argue with Seth’s track record or successes as a show creator and producer.  I really genuinely do believe that he’ll handle this project – revamping one of America’s most beloved TV series – with tact and sensitivity.

And let’s face it; The Flintstones could do with revamping. Don’t get me wrong, the original series was great (in fact, I have seasons 1 – 3 on DVD), but a few things, which Seth and his team can easily overcome, let it down.

First is the animation. The illustrators were working to the best of their ability with the technology they had at the time, but nowadays it looks clunky if you focus on it. Things like long walks with the same trees and buildings re and re-appearing in the background, the fact that Wilma is frozen solid while Fred is talking, or that only her head moves once she picks up the dialogue all distract (me at least) from the story lines. Seth and his team can bring their expertise (and computer graphics) to the project to resolve this. I do wonder, though, if he’ll continue to use his signature style or if he’ll deviate from it.  If he does choose to use the same style, he already has character designs for quite a few of his new cast – they have appeared in Family Guy cutaway gags on a few occasions.

Secondly, the original series was set in the 60s. The prehistoric animals posing as household appliances were posing as manual can openers and foot pedal sewing machines. Things have moved on a lot since then. “What’s the animal version of the iPod? That’s the kind of thing we have to think about,” said MacFarlane.  So he’s not so much changing the old show as simply bringing it into the modern world, with relevant jokes and appliances.

How he will do this has been the cause of some debate. Critics are afraid that Seth will turn the Flintstones and the Rubbles into sex crazed farting wife beating animals for the sake of reproducing the kind of humour that has served him so well on Family Guy and Cleveland. They fear that modernising the idea means modernising the humour. And it will, to some extent, in the same way that Scrubs was different to Cheers which was different to I Love Lucy. Different eras have their own types of comedy, and what you can say and do on TV changes as the way TV is produced and the way society’s sensibilities adapt. So, yes, the new Flintstones will have modern humour in it.

But I don’t think we should take that to mean that Seth and his team will ruin the essence of the show. I will again take a chance here and say that I suspect he will go the way of American Dad, and opt for clever, quick paced writing, which is only occasionally uncomfortably lewd, and forgo his traditional cutaway gags and celebrity bashing. There’s plenty of material in the world of Bedrock for Seth to sink his teeth into without having to bring those sorts of jokes into it. I don’t think even he wants to produce “Family Guy, but set in the Stone Age” – I think he’ll go for something quite different.

In bringing the show into the modern world, he opens up the possibilities for all new jokes and story lines. I’m not sure how much he intends to change it, but he could give Wilma and Betty jobs (rather than just having then play the doting housewives), for example, or give the appliances starring roles instead of just using them as a punch line. Bear in mind, as well, that even the cheesy old Flintstones had some ground breaking story arcs, including being the first ever show to look at the issue of infertility when Betty and Barney adopted Bamm-Bamm. So there’s plenty for Seth to explore and work with.

Let’s hope that he does it well, and that I don’t have to eat my words two years from now (or seven, by the time it finally gets around to air in Britain!)  I can’t wait to see how it turns out. For now though, I’ll just have to be patient, and hope I can get the theme tune out of my head. Everybody: “Flintstones, meet the Flintstones”…

There are no definite rules as everybody is still experimenting. The success stories abound however and we can learn a lot from them.

This list of specific techniques is far from complete, but it should give you a valuable insight on how these mechanisms work.

Method 1: Badges

On 9^th of May 2005, a new media platform, called Huffington Post was launched. In a relatively short time it reached prominence, making Arianna Huffington, the founder, even richer. Many have pointed out that the success of this news outlet is due to the heavyweights that joined the editorial board, but this doesn’t explain the high degree of implication from its audience in promoting the site and commenting.

For an explanation we must look somewhere else. Huffington Post was one of the very first to implement a gimmick called “badges”. There are 3 types in use: networker, superuser and moderator with 2 levels for each. They can be achieved through gathering fans and friends, posting comments and sharing stories on social media platforms and of course through reporting abusive comments. It’s worth mentioning that in order to achieve the superior type of badge for networker and superuser, one must link their Facebook or Twitter profiles to their account.

This is how the badge system is implemented. Now in order to understand why it works so well (a typical story has at least a few hundred comments), we must understand the basic human psychology in terms of rewards and incentives. Huffington Post has a rather unique position on the market. It has a well defined editorial policy and bias as well as a huge following. Achieving these badges thus becomes a way to get noticed, to get higher recognition. This is why badges only work when a membership site reaches a critical mass. You need to make your audience long for a higher degree of recognition and that can only happen if it’s exceedingly easy to “lose” your voice among the surrounding noise.

Method 2: Achievements

At a first glance, achievements might seem to be in the same boat with the badges. They’re not. The amount of flexibility you have with them is simply much greater and this is why they can be used at an earlier stage in a site’s life cycle.

The most unorthodox use is that of correcting “poor” behavior. Let’s say someone logs in frequently, but never contributes to the discussion. Give him a “Lurker” achievement and you will make him or her smile, even better he or she will now feel compelled to contribute. At the other end of the spectrum, take someone who hasn’t logged in for a long time. Give him a “Long lost sheep” achievement when he finally logs back and he’ll feel more compelled to become active in the community.

The basic idea is that achievements give you a much more effective tool of influencing the behavior of your community. More than that, you can set the general tone for the conversation by choosing the type of language and graphics they contain. If you operate a high-end membership site, you will opt for a more serious tone, while a casual community will be better off with a humorous approch.

Of course, there are more proactive measures to ensure this type of engagement from your user base, but we’ll talk about these in the next article in this series.

This is a Guest post by Neil Jones, who Specializes in launching ecommerce sites, he is currently plying his trade as head of marketing for eMobileScan. With 18 websites based all around Europe they are on course to be one of Europe’s largest online retailers of Industrial handheld computers like the Motorola MC9090 or Motorola MC75. Neil has been an online marketer for the past 6 years and in that time he has owned and run a range of sites all built around the ecommerce platform.

Kung-Fu Panda gets a sequel.

About a year before it was released, my dad told me to watch out for a little film called Kung-Fu Panda, I thought it sounded ridiculous. How could it possibly be any good? Oh how wrong I was.

I went on a trip to the London offices of Paramount Pictures and found this playing on a plasma TV in the reception area. Not only is there a sequel, but it looks actually good!



I can only wonder what the other four KFP films will be about? Oh that’s right, there are going to be six of them!

Google finally gets around to releasing their laptops.

Google Chrome OS is finally coming. Like all first adoption technology it’s going to be overpriced, inconvenient and finicky. But I will totally buy the seventh or eighth version. Especially with an ad like this.

BREAKING NEWS: Facebook are wankers.

It looks like this whole battle for internet supremacy thing has got a little out of hand, and somebody at Facebook has literally hired a PR company to call Google names.

This has to be one of the most pathetic things I have ever seen. When you are so utterly out of ideas that you have to resort to insults (don’t look at that headline again), it reminds me of the black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail frantically kicking their foe when bereft of any other limbs.

Read about it here.

Second best trailer of the week. Real Steel.

Think Rocky, but with robots, starring Wolverine… and you’d be about half way there.

It’s ridiculous, it’s stupid and I utterly, utterly love it.

Cute cat of the week.

My god he wants that food!



Game of the week, breakout meets nuclear fission.

Just play it and get back to me. Playing it was like I had my epilepsy again, but in a good way.

So those are my picks of the week. I hope you enjoyed them because I really need to get some sleep now because after a week of working 7 till 7 I’m starting to hallucinate… See you after ATP!

Today’s guest post comes courtesy of Steph Wood, a copywriter from Splashdirect.com:

April has been an interesting month for digital distribution of PC games. On the one hand we’ve had Gamestop’s purchase of the ‘Impulse’ distribution network. Meanwhile, market leader Valve Software have been running a complex, innovative and rather obscure promotional campaign for their upcoming Portal 2 game, getting fellow games developers in on the joke by updating their games with Portal 2 themed goodies and hidden code.

So, what is the future of digital distribution? Gamestop’s $1.5 billion in revenue by 2014, or Valve’s undisclosed money piles, made palatable to the people buying their games by their ‘community spirit’ and developer-lead model? The answer is inevitably ‘both’, but might it not as well be neither?

And does it really matter?

In asking what the future of Digital Distribution is, we first have to question how far what we have currently is going to lead us there. Is this not a battle over an increasingly small slice of the pie? At the turn of the millennium, the true hardcore of gaming went to the PC first, and the consoles second. It was the only way to play online, with the best graphics, with the best product-life extending content, with the best control scheme.

True, the platform’s importance has always waxed and waned in cycles, but with the current generation of consoles now five years old, that’s precisely why the PC’s continued obscurity is so significant. Because consoles now do online, have refined their controllers, are increasingly embracing user-generated content and because fewer developers focus on PC titles, the obvious benefits of PC gaming are now no longer there. The PC, consequently, occupies little to no space in high-street video game stores.

Digital distribution is the only way in which the PC is truly ahead of the game. Steam and its equivalent services successfully filled both the retail void and the demand that people increasingly have for ‘down the wire’ content. But this surely means that when the consoles move more decisively into this territory (instead of just offering smaller straight-to-download titles), the PC will again be muscled out.

Is a Head in the Clouds Really the Answer?

Purchasing Impulse was undeniably a good move for Gamestop: there is still money to be made from PC games, and Gamestop will be able to transform Impulse into a price-competitive business. But making inroads into the console market is essential in the long term. Gamestop has also simultaneously purchased Spawn labs, an obscure name in the cloud gaming arena. In practice, existing services like OnLive have focused on PC games, but theoretically, cloud gaming could offer any game to any machine capable of displaying a 720p video feed. This would include living room ‘media centre’ PCs, as well as games consoles and possibly even low spec netbooks and tablets.

Valve’s alternative gambit has been to offer a Playstation 3 version of ‘Steamworks’ with Portal 2. At this early stage, this merely means that Portal 2 related content will be accessible on PC, Mac and PS3 with a single copy of the game, but a close working relationship with at least one of the console manufacturers could pay untold dividends in the future.

Open Platform Consoles

The next generation of video games consoles are an unknown quantity, assuming they even exist at a conceptual level. Sony have already attempted to force the digital distribution agenda with the rather ill-advised PSP Go. Publishers continually bemoan the fact that second-hand disc copies are undermining first hand sales. And like the typical suite of public toilets, anything done to increase the modern console’s airflow (like removing a bulky optical drive) would be a significant improvement.

Therefore, it wouldn’t be all that surprising if the console manufacturers decided against disc drives in their new consoles. But would it really be in the consumer’s interests for these platforms to launch with only one, manufacturer owned storefront? Defending their above-retail prices, Microsoft recently went on record claiming that their Xbox 360 ‘Games on Demand’ service was about ‘convenience’ and nothing to do with good deals. Sony were similarly criticised when pricing Mass Effect 2, a game that had already been ‘conveniently’ available to 360 and PC gamers for a year.

My pessimistic side says that both manufacturers will try to maintain total control in a digital-enabled console market. But Sony, Microsoft, even Nintendo must acknowledge that competition drives innovation and stagnant marketplaces are bad for consumer interest. This is no longer being driven by retail, where there are fewer and fewer brands, or even the differences in the consoles themselves (this generation has been characterised by a total lack of exclusives). It could (and perhaps should) be driven by inviting traditional games publishers and services like Steam and Impulse onto a console that offers multiple marketplaces.

Steph Wood is a copywriter who also writes about Splash Direct, a UK based Bathroom company who offer clouds of Steam through Shower Enclosures only.

I’d vote for him, but instead I had to vote on AV. (Rather than choose YES or NO, I numbered the options in order of preference.)

Check out Obama being awesome here.

I swear, between this and Osama Bin Laden getting killed, he pretty much has the next election in the bag.

We had the Royal Wedding, if you’re like me and missed it because you had a hangover and played Portal 2. Here’s the short version.

Who cares about politics! Where are the pictures of pigs in teacups?

Cute video: A duckling harassing a puppy.

I like how the puppy’s panicking all over the place and the duck’s just like ‘Gonnagetyougonnagetyougonnagetyou!‘

You may want to turn the volume down though, that dogs yapping gets annoying. That duck on the other hand, he never gets old!

The best ‘Simon’s Cat’ video yet.

This is now my favourite, or maybe second favourite to the one with the bed.

The future marches on: ePaper now acts like actual paper!

In a curve I did not see coming at all. Getting eInk to display colour is apparently a really long way off. But somehow they’ve managed to make it flexible instead. How does that work? I don’t know, but it looks like something you’d drop into a movie to tell the audience it was a Sci-Fi.

Regular ordinary Swedish meal time

I can feel my chest hair growing as I watch these. They’re absolutely brilliant.

Talented person of the week…

I don’t actually know what this video is called… I just call her ‘the genius.’

I can’t play even one instrument and she can play three. It’s just not fair!

Either this guy’s a genius mechanic or he drives like a maniac.

Either way I tip my hat to him!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f49aNoV_2GE

Todays song: Roll a D6.

I never properly listened to the original, but I have played RP games before. So yeah it’s a good laff and it’s very well made. What do you expect here people?

Hollywood films often come under fire for promoting negative life lessons to young people, but I think it’s good to look at the other side of the argument. Without the life lessons I’ve learned from my favourite movies, I wouldn’t be the person who I am today; whether this is a good or a bad thing is up for debate.

Revenge is a dish best served never

As a teenager, I believed that if anyone slighted me revenge was in order. I would spend hours dreaming up elaborate vengeance plots, and fantasised about getting a chance to implement them. This bitter worldview changed when I sat down to Chan Wook-Park’s vengeance trilogy; particularly Sympathy for Mr Vengeance (not as popular as the more well known Oldboy, but definitely worth a watch). Sympathy for Mr Vengeance showed me that focussing all of my efforts on getting one up on someone else would not result in my feeling superior and fulfilled, but instead would result in a downward spiral of paranoia, guilt, and hatred. I’ve since learned that the best revenge is living well, and if there is someone in my life intent on irritating me I find that ignoring him or her is the best thing to do. Generally they get bored and go away.

Seize the Day

I have a serious problem with procrastination, which may have been exacerbated by 80s classic Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. I remember seeing my friends at school spending the long summer evenings at home studying for exams that wouldn’t matter as soon as we’d left university, and I would think of Bueller’s words: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Sure it might be bad to put off an essay until the last minute, but wouldn’t it be worse to put off going to the beach and having a barbeque while I’m young and free enough to enjoy it? The sentiment is echoed in a more recent animated film Kung Fu Panda: “Yesterday was history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.”

Do or Do Not, There is No Try

As a Star Wars geek I’m constantly looking out for new DVD releases of the original trilogy. By far my favourite quote is when Master Yoda tells Luke Skywalker that there is no such thing as trying to do something; either you do it, or you don’t. Saying that you tried is a great excuse when an endeavour fails, however getting it set in your head that you are going to do it is the first step on the road to success. As such, I try not to make promises that I cannot deliver on. I would rather tell someone that I couldn’t do something, than tell him or her that I will try and then fail to deliver the goods.

Appreciate Your Family

As a big fan of Adam Sandler, I was looking forward to watching Click. I was sure it would be a nice, light-hearted film; suffice to say I was quite surprised to find myself in tears by the end. I watched Sandler’s character flick through his life as his family and friends grew older and more distant, and it made me realise that I have to appreciate what I have. Yes, my parents can be annoying; but they’re the only ones I have. I need to appreciate them while they’re here because who knows what tomorrow may bring.

How to Fake an Orgasm

Although I wouldn’t try it in a packed restaurant or deli, the orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally has left me completely prepared for adult life and the dating game. I would recommend all men watch this film once, so that they can come to terms with the fact that their partners have probably pulled a fast one on them at least once.

Jennifer is a part of the digital blogging team at getyourblogsout.com who work with a growing number of entertainment brands. For more information about me, or to keep up to date with the latest in entertainment news, check out my posts at getyourblogsout.com or visit my Twitter account, @BlogsOut

There’s an old saying that goes… When the pirates came for the Music industry the publishers did not speak up because they didn’t make music. When the pirates came for Hollywood the publishers did not speak up because they didn’t make movies. When the pirates came for the books… everybody was too busy watching Netflix to speak up.

Here are my thoughts.

1. Book sellers: ‘Stop trying to horde sales.’

The Kindle only takes books from Amazon. This is great when they’re on top of things, but it isn’t going to help the punters when they are locked into two options when they buy their eReader, eat up whatever prices they set or pirate everything.

It’s called the Gilette Method, you buy something at a ridiculous discount, originally a razor but in this case a Kindle, and then they bilk you for your money afterwards in razorblades or ebooks. It worked with videogames, it worked with razors, but it won’t work here. Because this time we can just make our own razorblades for free.

2. Publishers: ‘Your books need to be cheaper, get used to it.’

Fighting the internet is like trying to fight the tides. You either swim with it or you drown.

Anyone personally involved is too busy calling them ‘thieves’ to actually acknowledge this. But 90% of pirates just do it out of convenience. They just don’t want to pay the same amount of money for an eBook as they would for a physical copy.

A real book has value, it is something you own. An eBook is data written on silicone that can be re-written any time the publisher wants. Amazon snatched hundreds of copies of Nineteen Eighty Four away from customers because the publisher didn’t want it published yet. Why should you pay the same for something you don’t technically own?

3. Writers: ‘Yes you will make less per book, but you will sell more books.’

It’s not all doom and gloom. Yes you will have to cut your margins a bit, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t going to pay for your writing.

With the harsh realities of the internet also come glorious opportunities. Angry Birds is a little iPhone game that costs 60p to buy… but it’s been downloaded 140 million times because people are more than willing to fork over a little pocket change for something they enjoy.

If you sell a book online, it costs nothing to sell, no printing, no logistics, just data. If you make 30p for every book you sell, it doesn’t sound like much unless you sell a million books… then you’ve made three hundred thousand pounds. And that’s not as hard when literally everybody on the internet has the chance to see it and buy it.

4. People still like to read.

In fact they may read even more when books get so much more accessible. People are starting to read books on their iPhones, iPads, Kindles, Nooks, Crannies, Crevices and toasters. The market is there, and they’re more than willing to pay money to get their fix. It just has to be cheap and convenient enough for them to not bother wading around the seedier parts of the web for a torrent.

5. Watch how everyone else is dealing with it.

Music went through this, Movies went through this, Videogames went through this. Every single one has slowly come up with a streaming online version of their material. Spotify, Steam, iTunes, Netflix the list goes on and it will only get bigger as people realise that fighting piracy is about as effective as spitting at the sun.

6. Deal with it!

This isn’t the end of literature. This isn’t the end of anything.

Publishers are going to fight change, they are going to charge ten quid for an eBook and then get surprised when people pirate it or buy Angry Birds instead. They will try to prosecute pirates and then find that after a long, boring and stupid court case that they missed the other eight million people going at it unimpeded.

Things are going to change, it may be slow and a little uncomfortable at times, but business is like life, it always finds a way to survive and thrive. When everybody has food in their bellies, roofs over their heads and cash in their pockets they’ll always be prepared to give some of it for a bit of entertainment.

People want to read books, and they want to do it on command, and they want to do it on the cheap. If you stop complaining for five minutes and oblige them you may well hit a goldmine.

China know how to advertise the shit out of 7-up.

It’s funny that China have recently banned stories about time travel because one of the best adverts I’ve ever seen was about time travel.

Check it out:

Carl Sagan put the universe in perspective again:

Carl Sagan manages to be incredibly profound with every word he utters, even when he isn’t being auto-tuned!

Because I forgot to do it before…

And also because it seems Rebecca’s really taken to her fame with some aplomb… Just check this tweet out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0

There’s no Time to Explain!

I love the look of this game! What is it about indie games that gives them so much more character and charm than the corporate triple-A titles?

I’ve gotta wrap this up early. I should settle back into a workable routine soon now I’m working full time, and I have a couple of cool things to review over the coming weeks. I can’t wait to see what you think!

Did you find anything that made your week? Jump into the comments and let me know, I’d love to see them!

…

As the actress said to the bishop!

Mortal Kombat movie will premiere on my birthday.

The word on the grapevine is that the live action Mortal Kombat miniseries they promised last year wasn’t some kind of sick joke, but will actually premiere on Machinima.com next Tuesday on the 12^th of April! So if it is a sick joke, it’s one aimed directly at me!

This would be the best birthday ever if I had ever cared that much about the Mortal Kombat games before, but if it uses the theme tune I will be Happy.

Starving kittens have never been more adorable.

Just a quick note, apparently the kittens had been ill and were getting their food after recovering, they weren’t actually starved through negligence or malice… but through hilarity!

Awww! Who’s a widdle starving kitty!

Everything George Takei says is pure gold.

I never watched the original Star Trek, but I gained absolute respect for George Takei when he responded to a homophobic basketball player’s hate-filled ranting by threatening to have sex with him.

And now he’s at it again ripping the shit out of the abysmal Spider Man musical.

Steampunk Transformers.

Not only is this not a fan made joke, but there are actual toys made of these images. Just look at them!

Optimus Prime as a steam train and Megatron as a cannon! They just need big metal top hats!

Mass Effect is getting an Anime film.

I have no idea if this is going to be any good, but I’m probably going to enjoy it anyway because Mass Effect is wonderful!

Here’s the link to the announcement!

LA Noir trailer.

And last but certainly not least, another trailer for LA Noir. The game I am looking forward to above all the others except Magicka Vietnam.

I can’t wait to see if the interrogation works out. If it does it will be a sign that games have moved on towards new, more nuanced genres that don’t need explosions. If they can make this technology cheaper and easier to use, acting will become a greater part of the medium, and games could become more about people than how to kill more of them…

Or maybe it’ll just be a thirties Grand Theft Auto… which is no bad thing either!

What about you guys? Find anything you think we’ll like? Have any thoughts? Jump in to the comments and we’ll chat over scones… electronic scones! (The secret ingredient is emoticons!)

Sorry for another Thursday/Friday combo again this week, it’s been a bit hectic for me since I’ve suddenly found myself having my job applications actually get responses… It looks like this website has been better for my job prospects than my degree! but don’t worry, I won’t let it interfere with my already lackadaisical schedule!

There have been some real treats this week. I had to seriously reconsider the order I put them in in case you ended up wasting your entire day before you even finished this article.

A medley of the best theme tunes from our childhood.

None of today’s theme tunes ever really live up to the greats. Just watch these three musical geniuses cover some the best tunes of my childhood. I swear if you’re not singing along you’re either too old or have no soul… same thing really!

Peanuts as an existential nightmare

It’s basically this months version of Garfield without Garfield… but it works so beautifully!

It amazes me how well these work some times!

Make your iPad see through clothes…

With clingfilm… seriously!

I love science some times!

Gnome Chompsky

This is one of those ideas that sort of snowballed out of control when it hit the public consciousness. People are actually looking into having this made into a real game. And I can see why!

Even you non-gamers out there must be a little enthused about a videogame character named after an obscure philosopher!

The Music Box

Here’s one of those entries that starts out a little slow and then becomes incredible, just watch it and get back to me…

I couldn’t help but wonder how the hell the guy managed to dance like that… must have been CGI or something.

Re: your brains Music Video

It’s good to see Jonathan Coulton get a music video. I don’t know if it’s an official one or a fan creation, but either way it’s good enough for me!

GIRP

I had to save this for last because you would have never read the rest of this article. From the creator of QWOP, the internet drunkenness simulator, comes GIRP the internet rockclimbing simulator. It seems silly, and it is! Watching your ragdoll flop around uselessly from his unbelievably strong arms is almost hypnotic, and strangely addictive! Just give it a try!

GIRP

The best part is how it’s relatively simple to pick up, but really cerebral when you get into it. Having to plan your handholds and try and maintain momentum… This is gaming at its finest!

So that’s it for this week. Did you guys find anything interesting? Let us know in the comments!

So let’s get this party started with the coolest things I saw this week that I remembered to put in this post!

The touching story of a King and his Beaver.

This is why every guy I know admits they fancy Nathan Fillion.

My favourite tweet this week… From Nathan Fillion of course!

Deadpool just… being Deadpool.

Next up, Why I love Deadpool so much.

How District 9 should have ended.

Captain America… F**k Yeah!

The new trailer for Captain America’s come out, and it actually looks quite good. I like how there’s an actual story for the characters now rather than propaganda…

But if you ask me, I’m just waiting for Captain Britain!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7c_AfAJvGaE

STOP THE PRESS!!! Hey! Listen!

I just found this unbelievably well made music video about the tradegy of Navi, the fairy from Ocarina of Time. Check it out!

Outside the UK, it hasn’t been quite so fortunate what with the earthquake in Japan. I’m not going to try to say anything witty and just offer up this link to a place to donate to the cause.

Now less preaching and more fun stuff!

Governing England with the power of ROCK!

I would watch the shit out of the house of commons if they had this kind of backing track to each speaker!

Tricky truck:

This is one of those games that has a simple concept, drive your truck to the finish line without dropping any boxes… and dials it to eleven. Just look at some of the levels you have to tackle!

If my gaming PC was working I’d be playing this right now. I look forward to a day when VR is so prevalent that truckers are trained in these kinds of exercises, who’s worried about a little ice on the roads when you’re capable of balancing a juggernaut on a tightrope!

Real life Iron Man suit:

Back in the day they had a video of an army funded exoskeleton suit that enhanced the wearers strength. Naturally I assumed the project had died along with the hopes and dreams of a million fanboys.

It turned out I was wrong… they were making it better!

I hope when I get old they’ll saddle us with things like these instead of zimmer-frames or mobility scooters… then I’ll have mine supercharged so I can punch through walls!

Although to be fair, before these videos my plan was to replace my mobility scooter with a quadbike and see if anyone noticed.

Ponycraft 2:

Some bright spark’s taken the trailer to StarCraft 2 and matched it with footage from the new My Little Pony cartoon. The result not only has better lip-synching than the original, but actually looks Better!

I’m sorry, but if I saw this trailer in the cinema I would go and see this in a heartbeat. I don’t care that it’s My Little Pony! It looks absolutely epic!

“Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you right now!”

Chatroulette love song:

Call me cynical, but I wonder how many tries it took for them to find someone who wasn’t masturbating?

My favourite part is watching her reaction, I’ve never seen somebody look so genuinely touched. I like to think after the video stops he just cuts the connection and leaves her feeling empty and unfulfilled… or he drops his trousers and starts wanking!

It’s the flapflapflapflapflapflapflapflap sound that gets me!

The Demo Knight

You may know this guys work with ‘Law Abiding Engineer’ where he replaced characters from the film with the guys from Team Fortress 2. Well he’s at it again with The Dark Knight.

Why is this guy not making full movies? Let him make the next Meet the Medic and Meet the Pyro videos while Valve is too busy faffing around with selling hats in a game!

Kempfolds

The thigh-quiveringly dashing Paul Rumble sent me this site devoted to pictures of Ross Kemp folded in funny ways…

Almost every single one of them has made me laugh, it’s the little pleasures!

Trenched!

If you asked me to name three things I love in life, there’s a good chance the choices would be Giant Robots, Psychonauts, and anything to do with World War 1.

So here’s a game by the people that made Psychonauts, where you drive giant robots, in World War One…

I’m going to get this! And I’m going to love it!

Rebuilding the Zombie Apocalypse

I found this great little game on Kongregate which simulates retaking a city in the middle of a Zombie Apocalypse. I like how we’ve moved on from exploring the whole escaping the living dead thing to doing SimCity with zombies. It’s great fun, but you’ll either want to play on Hard, or I’m perfect Mayor material in the apocalypse!

Tech Demos

I love watching tech demos. It’s like looking into the future! First Up! The Unreal engine.

I like how we can feasibly use videogame tech to make movies now! Apparently they seriously considered making a movie of Enslaved: Odyssey to the West in the Unreal Engine… but the movie execs shut it down, probably because they’re twats… I know I shouldn’t say that about those guys, I know some of them, but it’s still a bit… well… twatty.

But how can I talk about tech demos without showing off Crytek’s latest offering!

I like to think they have a brain in a jar somewhere in the Crytek labs, and the only reason they use it is because it’s the only thing that’s powerful enough to run anything they create!