Big Brother has always been about taking Sartre’s ‘Hell is other people’ and playing it for sick vicarious entertainment. Well, at least we can’t say this year’s big brother isn’t being honest. They’ve finally admitted their true purpose and themed the entire thing as a freak show. And the contestants are no exception. We have a dude with no legs, an Australian poseur, a woman with a career in looking like someone else and a girl who calls herself ‘Shabby’.
In what might well be the last thirteen weeks of her career, Davina is back in full force. Grinning, gurning and downright leering her way through the show, at one point during her antics I wondered if she’d just upped and had a stroke on camera. Thankfully she hadn’t, and they went through the process of picking out the housemates live on TV.
Yes, this time Big Brother brought eighty hopefuls down to watch as thirteen were picked out of the crowd. It shows just how much Big Brother’s playing to its strengths when the first contestant to go in was Josie, a Bristolian farmer who went up to the front door and just started crotch-thrusting at the already booing audience, makes you proud to be British doesn’t it?
This also had the added bonus that quite a few of them already knew each other when they went in. The look on professional Beyonce lookalike Rachel’s face was priceless, especially when cockney tosser Nathan walked in and hugged everyone but her. I’d like to say it’d be interesting to see what that’s all about, but I’m sure it’ll be bitchy and nauseating.
The house itself is carnival themed this time around, with various Circus paraphernalia and wherewithal scattered around the rooms that seem to conform to non-euclidean geometry and with even less privacy than before, so the contestants will have even more opportunity to piss each other off. The highlight of the house itself is the evil tree from the last series making a comeback as a chest of drawers, I’ll happily put up with this show if he’s still fucking with the housemates heads with his foul language and even fouler sense of humour, and he has more than enough material with the fourteenth housemate Mario.
Poor, poor Mario. He was picked out of the hopefuls at random by tombola and given an impossible task where he will have to act as a mole amongst the housemates sabotaging tasks and generally annoying the others, if he is discovered, he gets evicted… Oh and they weren’t finished… they gave him a special costume to enter in, he went into the house dressed as a mole… with a placard hanging from his neck with the words “I AM A MOLE” in big red letters. Well, at least they’re making me laugh. And I personally hope Mario stays in and escapes from this horror, he seems like a better person than any of the others.
I can’t say I won’t be glad to see it go. But I can’t say I won’t be able to escape it for the next four months either… Maybe if I buy and review more videogames I’ll be too occupied. Win win for both of us, You get more stuff on the site and I get to pretend there is actually a shred of decency in humanity!
